Open your mail.
All the time.
Always.
Because you know what you did? You got lazy and distracted by dumb things like school and TV and the internet and missed the opportunity to cash in $381.63 in checks that belonged (yeah, there's an -ed ending there) to you.
What a costly waste! Was my attentiveness to high school graduation and excitement for attending college the reason for my oversight of my $79.00 state tax return from 2008? Nope.
And was my joy in getting my cast off in the fall of 2010 so overwhelming that I missed the $302.63 check in worker's compensation from that injury? Doubtful.
The real reason: I procrastinate.
I'm opening mail from almost 4 years ago!
Was I caught up in the emergence of electronic mail and forgot all about snail mail? EEENNNHHHHH. Wrong. Procrastination.
And you know what's the saddest? I called it. Well, my mom told me about my condition since I was in 7th grade, but either way I should have foreseen such acts of stupidity.
Why? Guess what my MySpace name was?
InternetBoi4Lyfe? Never Opens My Mail? IrinaComeBack? EricAtTheDisco? NOPE!
If you had answered, "What is 'King of Procrastination'?" then you would be correct. Want proof? Click here. The URL is very telling of what I was into at the time :) Now sadly, this isn't really proof, I deleted everything except the name and I thought it wouldn't let me delete the profile picture, but apparently you can't see it now, you'll just have to take my word for it.
I couldn't delete my profile completely because I changed email accounts and it would only send the "Confirm Delete Account" email to the one that didn't exist anymore. So it still sits out there in MySpace world. I deleted all my info, and can't access it anymore, but that page is what's left of my profile.
Anyway, I feel I should have seen lost money as a cause of my procrastination. I wonder how much money I have lost and don't know about. Or money I've lost in food that I didn't use before it goes bad. WHOA! I actually don't want to think about it...
One good side effect of procrastination was all-nighters in the library. They led to many good times and, I think, to more quality work on an assignment (I just think I work better under pressure).
Either way, I'm gonna call both institutions tomorrow and see if I can get a check reissued. I doubt it, but I'll keep my fingers crossed.
But Eric, DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME!
Because instead of being like this:
You're like this:
Love,
Past Hella-broke Self
