1. Getting a raise taken away for medical reasons. I spent most of this semester working at a local coffee shop. As my hours were increasing and I was opening the store, I was becoming more depended on by my boss to be there. As a result of this, he gave me a raise. It was just fifty cents, but still it adds up when you're working 40 hours a week (20 bucks - taxes, to be exact). Anyway, I had to miss work to go get an emergency root canal, because the nerve in one of my teeth was dying and it was the most painful thing I've experienced to date in my life that I could not have functioned at work. It's not that voluntarily wanted to go through this process:
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Seriously, I rather would have worked instead of getting that done. I had to take 2 days off that I was previously scheduled for, but at least I gave my boss warning. And it was a medical emergency. So when I came back for my next shift post-procedure, my boss took me aside and told me that he was going to take away my raise because I wasn't there when he needed me. Again, medical emergency. Since he obviously does not know how to invest in his employees, or have compassion for medical emergencies, I quit. I've spent the last couple weeks unemployed, but it was worth it to put my all into finals and finishing my undergraduate career. The whole thing was just dumb!
2. Students complaining about finals/pulling all-nighters. Ok, I am totally guilty of doing this, but it's still dumb nonetheless. I recently pulled two all-nighters to complete two papers. How long had I known about said papers? Oh you know, all semester. So why didn't I get an earlier start on them? Well I had to wait until the classes were actually over to accurately write the papers and reflect on all of the course material. That's my excuse. Yet even then I had time. I was busy hanging out with friends, watching TV on Hulu, or finding any other reason to actually confront my need to paper write and end my undergraduate career. I was procrastinating on purpose. I just didn't want to end it.
But there are others. Others who do these same things to procrastinate, really for procrastination's sake. It seems like the university student enjoys bringing the stress of trying to accomplish so many things in such little time to the highest level. It prevents sleep. It prevents production. And they feed into it. They're watching TV. They're on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, whatever internet distraction and social websites they can find.
They're not doing their work. And this further prolonging gives them less time to do their work. They open their Word document. And six hours later, they return to the document, blank as it was before. And complain that they have 12 pages to write before the next day.
But they're having trouble staying awake. So they get energy drinks, they get coffee with 23984527 extra shots of espresso to help keep them awake. They start getting productive, but then they realize that they're really hungry. So they go get food. And they get it somewhere rather far away from where they're doing their work so that they can be as far away as possible from their dreaded work. The work that only seems so dreaded because of the decreasing amount of time they have to work on it.
Oh, you're still in the library at 2 am. Who else is here? You make a Facebook status about it, because the second you get a response from someone who is in the same library as you, you text them and ask where they are and immediately go to them. You then commiserate together how you haven't slept in the last 48 hours. That you actually haven't been home for days. And how you have 2 more all-nighters and not gonna get sleep soon. And the fact that you're complaining about it is just taking more time away from the work you should be doing, pushing them further into your sleeplessness.
You know the record for the most days without sleep was 18 days, 21 hours, and 40 minutes (http://www.abc.net.au/science/sleep/facts.htm) The side affects due to such activity included: hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory and concentration lapses. So how does sleep deprivation actually help you do work? How does it actually help you study? The side-effects do not seem like they actually help one be productive while studying. Why do it? DUMB!
3. Things that don't fit that should.
So the thing that bothered me that didn't fit right was tortilla chips into salsa jars.
Yes, this is a miniature dollhouse play-set of Tostitos chips and salsa. But it further purports my point. It might make sense if the chips and salsa were at least different brands, because then there's sort of an excuse for not communicating about the size
of the chip vs. the size of the jar. But even when Tostitos makes both, it still doesn't work.
Oh, what's that you say? They make the bite size ones. Well that's all good and fun, but once you're past the first couple dips, your hand can't fit past the mouth of the jar either. Oh, they make the scoops? Well those are too thin and break too easily and you end up eating the chips and salsa with your hands anyways. Your hand gets all salsa-y. This results in using way more napkins than anticipated.
Now you're like, just pour it in a bowl. But that would waste a dish. I would have to clean it and then use water. That's not good for the environment. Plus I'm just a lazy college kid not wanting to do any extra dishes if it isn't necessary.
They just need to make salsa containers more accessible for a chip to dip in to. Not a big request. And the fact that mass produced chips and salsa have been around for as long as I've been alive means this issue has not been resolved for at least 21 years. DUMB!
And these will not be as drawn out, because they're pretty self-explanatory:
4. iPods (and telephones for that matter) are not waterproof. DUMB!
5. Kristin Wiig retiring her Penelope bit. I mean my friends and I are still quoting it, soooooo ummmmm, we quote it a lot more than other people, and apply it to everyday life more than you do sooooooo ummmmmm WHY'D YOU RETIRE IT? DUMB!
6. You can't purchase swagu. I keep looking next to the Ragu and it just ain't there. DUMB
7. Having emergency exits, but no emergency entrances. Can't you see it now: A frantic university student running up to a building with paper in hand, "I need to turn in my paper, good God, let me in! I mean I really need to turn in my paper, I don't have time to walk all the way to the front of the building, or walk all of the stairs, all of the stairs." DUMB!
8. Adele's "Someone Like You" constantly being played on the radio. You can change the station and you still can't get away from it. Even if it's a station that's playing Christmas music, "Someone Like You" still gets played. I was witness to this. And if it's not that song, it's one of her others: "Rolling in the Deep" or "Set Fire to the Rain." So now when it comes on, I don't find myself crying to the lyrics and imagining my own heartbreaks, I cry because I hate it when Adele turns up out of the blue uninvited. DUMB!
9. Waterproof pants not being socially acceptable. Why must you be on a track or on a pole? DUMB!
10. I'm done with college and still in a library at 3:35 am. DUMB!
Eric, this is hilarious. you are hilarious. Way to be hilarious.
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